Cum Smelling Cheese

Day: 323

After spending most of the morning riding my rented bike the 32 kilometers around the local lake; with the obligatory flat, that comes with rented bikes (I had to wait 30 minutes while they brought me another), I felt that I should spoil myself. It was a cool sunny day, so I thought to sit out in the sun and order myself a beer and some sausage.

Perusing through the menu of the small café I was able to decipher beer (bier), and with my superb German, the section with the heading “Wurst”. It went on to list about 20 different types of sausage, most of which I recognized, then I saw the “Allgaur-something-something-something-mit(with)-brot(bread)”. I was in the Allgau Alps, it was slightly more expensive than the other wurst, so I figured it would be something special I had never had.

Half way through my beer the waitress came over and with a smile handed me a plate with easily 9 types of cheese on it and a basket full of bread. I quickly deduced that the “something-something-something” wasn’t actually sausage. Oh, well, at least I like cheese as much as I do sausage…

Gouda, Gryree, Swiss, Bleu, a soft walnut covered cheese… Then there it was, hiding under some onions and paprika, a cheese I have never seen before. It was the smallest piece on the tray. I stuck my fork in it and brought it to my nose, one big whiff and my eyes shot open in surprise! This cheese had the distinct odor of semen!

I stared in shock as I pondered how I’d go about putting this in my mouth… I cut it in half and stuck this man-juice flavored queso onto my tongue, with a piece of bread in my other hand, in case I would have to quickly destroy the flavor.

To my dismay and to that of all my readers, the cheese didn’t actually taste anything like it smelled, it was just another wonderfully tasty piece of European dairy product. Although, come to think of it, I have never tasted that particular body fluid, so how can I actually know?