A Series of Random Events

Day: 129

Waking up in some random Motel 6 somewhere in Illinois our goal for the day was to drive Skittles into Iowa to stay with one of Aaron’s marine buddies who was going to show us around a small town Iowa(ian?) night. We drove for a few hours before our first stop at a playground to teeter-totter, play King-of-the-Hill, tire swing, and jump off swings just like we were eleven again. Still trying to make it to Ceder Falls, Iowa with a few hours of daylight left, we abandoned our playground and piled back in Skittles to power through another four hours of driving before we arrived at our destination. We were introduced to Aaron’s rather racist (sadly) marine buddy, Skyler, who seemed to have a problem with everyone, but also had a large couch and a couple of empty rooms in his apartment.

With it only being just after 5, and the sun still a ways from setting, we bought some drinks and went off to a cheap local golf course to play a few holes. Before long it was almost dark and we were all slightly buzzed, we went back to Skyler’s apartment and showered to get ready for a night out. We hit up a couple of local clubs/bars and had a normal night out. Nothing to special, yet.

Just after last call we six (Matt, Aaron, Chad, Skyler, I and Sklyer’s other roommate), end up in an alley waiting for Skyler’s roommate’s girlfriend to pick us up in her Ford Taurus and take us back next to the apartment for some latenight snacks at the local convenience store. After eating, a very drunken Skyler starts talking all kinds of trash to just about everyone and about everyone. At some point he challenges me to an out door wrestling match at three in the morning. I had been taking it easy on the booze for most of the night and I easily outweighed him by fifty pounds, of course I agreed. I was just hoping he wasn’t some Marine wrestling champ or anything, otherwise I was ready to crush this little racist punk. It took me about 9 seconds to have him pinned. He came up surprised that I could handle myself at all.

“Rematch?” he slurred.

“Sure.” I replied.

He gave his all this time and lasted about 20 seconds before I locked him to the ground. As a good drunken bigot should, he started to get angry and tell me in a real fight he’d kick my ass.

I ignored him. By this point though, Aaron was ready to challenge me. I accepted just for fun. Aaron is much more level headed than his Iraqi fighting friend, but also much closer to my size and in much better shape. I was ready for a challenge and thought I may not win this one. I went right for Aaron and threw him off balance, once we hit the ground he lasted just a minute or two (hard to measure time when you’re wrestling) before, to both our amazement I had him pinned on the grass. Sometime I wow even myself.

Coming up on three o’clock and completely worn out with ending the night with wrestling we were thinking about heading off to bed. Just about then, Matt and I spotted four girls dressed in swimsuits and assorted beach wear wandering by, we quickly accosted them and got invites to some late night swimming in one of their friends pools. Chad and Aaron didn’t waste anytime and the eight of us were off walking into the dark for some late night swimming. Somewhere along the way the girls let us know that there friends didn’t actually know they were coming, and their “friends” were actually six guys who live in a house. The four of us look at each other and were all on our toes for trouble as we snuck into some random dudes backyard with some random chicks.

Getting in the pool we all covertly positioned our clothes and things for a rapid escape if needed, while the girls creeped inside and raided these guys fridge for beer for everyone.

Great, now I had snuck into a frat house’s pool and stole their beer, this can only turn out good (sarcasm). We swam around quietly for a while but eventually started making so much noise that anyone inside would have to wake up. After almost two hours, as we were getting dressed to leave, the only thing we could think of is that the people inside must have all thought it was one of there other roommates making all the noise. The only thing that saved us was probably the same thing that scared us, that six guys live in one hour.

Well, it turns out that one of our new lady friends was a hair stylist that invited Matt and I back to her house for 5am drunken haircuts. Slightly weirded out by letting some random drunk chick cut my hair at five in the morning, I followed along knowing that no matter what happened I could always shave it in the morning. What I couldn’t do though is ever replace the story of some chick I meant on the streets of Iowa at three in the morning cutting my hair with the sunrise. Aaron and Chad had turned back but Matt and I went with the girls to their house a few blocks away.

Matt whispered to me “You have to go first, I have to work next week and can’t have a shitty haircut.”

I agreed for fun.

She brought out all her tools and we to work on my head. Her hands worked with skill that quickly told me she knew what she was doing, I felt relieved. By the time she was done Matt had pretty much passed out on the couch and declined his haircut. I went into the bathroom to dust off the hair and check out her work. She actually did good, I would even let her do it again. We all went to the front of the girls house and watched the sunrise, and Matt and I staggered back to new racist friends apartment.