What?

Day: 100

Day 100! Time to celebrate the fact that I was able to keep the world up to date for this long. I hope I still have a few readers and I haven’t chased you all off with my plate throwing antics, drunken nights and bad grammar.

Sarah, my sister, showed up in San Francisco today to take a two day hiatus from her children and pretend that she could still drink like she did years ago. When she arrived I had already checked into the tiny hotel room on the other side of town, near Union Square. Here’s the real reason my sister and I get along so well; before she got here I went across the street from the hotel to Rite-Aid and bought a bottle of Ketel One (vodka) and a couple of mixers to start our night off right; When Sarah got here she opened her suitcase and what was in there? Another bottle of Ketel One! As siblings we kick ass! We said our hellos over cocktails and prepared ourselves for the night by ironing our clothes and drinking half a bottle of Ketel One.

Feeling quite nice, we made our way to a nearby sushi bar to enjoy some raw fish, Sake, Japanese beer, and Sarah talking to load about the people around us. We even thought it’d be a good idea to order the giant squid tentacle, seered, that the girl next to us was enjoying. We powered through all its chewiness hoping that it wouldn’t try to swim its way back up later. Stumbling out of there we headed into Union Square to go over to an Irish bar I had been to a couple of years back that was pretty badass. As we struggle to make our way to the bar to order a couple of pints of Guinness, Sarah leans over to me and asks:

“Is that singer a guy or a girl?”

“I believe “Trans-gender” is the P.C. word.”

She gives me a quizzical look…

“It was a man at one time, now s/he is on his/her way to womanhood.” I replied.

“Oh.”

Nikki was actually a great singer, but we couldn’t stop looking at her little, genetically enhanced, titties poking through her white shirt. Sarah and I had a great time drinking beer and doing whiskey shots (which in retrospect may not have been the best idea) until we couldn’t feel our faces and we started our stagger back toward our hotel. Sarah “had” to find some drunk food, so we set out on a mission to stagger our way towards Jack in the Box.

After another ““fantastic meal”” we found our tiny room and the world started to spin.

Three minutes later Sarah jumps up and runs around, finds the window and sticks her head out.

“I just threw up…”

I crack my eyes, completely oblivious, and say “That’s some funny shit…”

World goes to black.