Criminals in Czech

Day: 55

Another day spent wandering this magically crowded city, being trampled of wave after wave of tourists trying to get to the bridge or the castle or Kafka’s house, is not my idea of a great time. Yet it is hard to complain when the city is this spectacular and you have no responsibilities in life. The daytime passed quickly (probably because I didn’t get up until 10) and before I knew it I was rounding up a group of people to go out for dinner and possibly a few drinks.

Myself, TJ, Nicky and Sherry all headed out around eight for a night of great food and great conversation about Dick Cheney shooting somebody in the face. I am really disappointed that news this funny took so long to reach me, this is the kind of thing I really shouldn’t hear about two months later from a Canadian. So all you out there in blogland remember, next time any major governmental figure shoots anyone, Rob needs to be informed so he can laugh his ass off too. After dinner, which was a little pricy but very tasty, we started to walk back the two blocks to our hostel when I came up with a ingenious plan. We were going to have a drink at every bar all the way back to our beds. Now this being the Czech Republic means that in two blocks there are 5 or 6 bars.

The first bar we was a little dive with a coked out lady bartender, our drinks took her 10 minutes to make (1 beer, 3 shots of vodka, and a Red Bull), and she looked lost the entire time. We slammed the first round. While TJ, Sherry and I were waiting for Nicky to finish her beer we ordered another round (2 vodkas and a Jager for TJ), which took another 10 minutes to get. As a former bartender I was slightly frustrated. After our second round we grabbed the check because we knew we had a few more bars to go to get home. When I looked at the check it was about half the price it should have been, she had forgot to ring in some of the drinks. We gave the bill to TJ to pay (He owed us from dinner) and the girls and I headed outside to let him deal with the bartender.

When TJ came outside and we started to walk downhill he had a big old grin on his face and I glanced down at the 1000 Crown note he had gone to the bar with still in his hand, and quickly gave him a glance and realized he had just turned us all into criminals in Czech! When the girls realized this they both started to walk really fast and I just kept pace laughing my ass off. TJ had just drank and dashed. Now at this point I recalled The Plate Hurling incident and all the shit I took for making Americans look bad in Turkey, but here is this Canadian (the world loves Canadians!) that walked out on a $9 tab in a bar! Stupidity while intoxicated is not just limited to Americans, it is a universal truth.

After about ½ an hour on the run from the law, we found another bar that TJ had to pay for the shots before we were served. I was slightly relieved. Until he also showed us the Jager shot glass that he stole from the last bar! Free drinks and complimentary shot glasses, this 19 year old is a clepto. Anyway we never finished our pub crawl and just headed to the market to get a bottle of vodka and some sprite to drink at the hostel. The night passed quickly and I was asleep in no time (by “no time” I mean roughly 3 am).