Day: 32
I’m pretty sure the captain of this ship hates us. This morning he was so hung over that he would only grunt and didn’t even tell us what we were going to be doing for the day. I believe we were supposed to stop in a town on one of the nights but I think he is keeping us in little deserted bays so we get bored and buy his booze. The ship moved maybe 3 kilometers today, yesterday when he said “bad weather” (slightly cloudy) wouldn’t let us stop where originally planned. I think his planned may have paid off for him, we were out of vodka by this point so we sat around drinking Efes all day and just sitting in the sun. Late in the afternoon when they dropped us off at a deserted beach that looked like someone’s front yard.
We spent the entire day bullshitting and hanging out until some time around eight we decided to drink our entire bottle of Raki (its awful by the way) in 5 minutes. 4 shots each and about 3 ½ minutes later our bottle was empty and we were about to be really drunk, which was good because we had been kind of bored all day. Once the Raki kicked in we became loud, offensive and a general all around pain in the ass to the crew. Who were inside and we were on the front deck.
We had been picking at our dessert (sliced apples and oranges), when I found one of the apples was slightly bad in the center so I began throwing the rotten slices into the Mediterranean, somewhere around this time Jasper and Akbar were laughing there asses off at something else I must of said and Akbar says “don’t throw the plate in the water”.
Now, in classic Rob style what else was there to really do other than throw the plate in the water?
So I grabbed it and heaved.
Now, all three of us were rolling around laughing our asses off like it was the funniest thing in the world. That is until the captain and crew came out giving us dirty looks and the first mate asked.
“Where is the plate” (probably all his English)
I quickly responded “you took it a little while ago” (hey you never know, I might be that sneaky)
Akbar agreed.
The captain pointed at me and says “You throw” (accompanied by a series of throwing gestures)
Damn. He had been watching me. I was caught.
“To much Efes” I said hoping to blame it on the alcohol.
But he wouldn’t have it he wanted me to pay for the plate. I offered him 15 lire ($12 for a plain white plate), but he wouldn’t accept he wanted 50 lire ($40)! So in my drunken haze I threw down a 50 lire note just to get him to leave us alone.
But first Akbar had the balls to order another Efes!
Brought down slightly, we continued to giggle for the next hour over a plan to dive for the plate in the morning and try to get my 50 back. Not that we thought we’d get the money back, but it’s the principal of the thing.
I am sure the Captain hates us now, especially me. Well, I’ll tell you one thing, He’s not getting a tip when I get off this boat.
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Remember the ribs!!!!Hahahaha 🙂
haha… your adventures are great to read about! they are keeping me entertained rob!
Great site up until this point. Take it for what it’s worth but your total disregard for other people and their property is shameful… have some respect. Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that BS and if you don’t know that, you should. What can I expect if I follow in your footsteps? A crew that assumes all Americans are jackasses who think they can buy their way out of being ignoramuses ? Come on man… your 26 right?
To Futeure Traveller of Turkey,
I am not always like this, I do attempt to put the best face forward for most Americans, But in the spirt of the blog I am required to show the truth, even if I do come off as a load American asshole at times, hopefully not to often though.
Hope you understand
Rob
I’d have to agree. Your last few posts have made you sound like a drunk american a$$. It’s ashame that your just validating people’s asumption about American’s in general. I liked reading this blog up untli this point but won’t be doing so anymore.
Screw those that are in disagreement of the Hateful Turks who were stretching out the day to get you to buy their liquor! They got what they wanted and then didn’t like that you did buy their liquor? Screw em!! Like the two above have never had a buzzed moment?
Robbie… I’ll find you more readers to replace the two above. It was one plate, folks… we are from southen california… and he represents us juuuuust fine, thank you!
[…] A side note, For those of you new to “Mom Says…”: Jasper and I meant in the South of Turkey last March, Traveled for about a week together along with another fellow name Akbar, and he was present for the highly controversial “Crockery Heaving” incident of 06′. […]